So, “Sparking Joy” Isn't Cutting it?
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Why “Sparking Joy” isn’t working out
And what to do instead
So you spent the long weekend binge watching Tidying Up on Netflix, imagining Mrs. Kondo sitting on your living room floor “greeting your home”, and asking if each item sparks joy for you. Motivated to make changes, you head to the packed car-less garage.
As you enter the garage, you are hit with instant overwhelm. Where to start? Your daughter’s bike and her old roller blades. Do they “spark joy? Well……? Unsure, you put them aside…just for now, of course. Your snow boots? Well you need them in winter, so keeping those! How about your husband’s tools? Do they spark joy? Yes, he loves to tinker on things in the garage. But does he need 5 different ratchet sets, two of which are in the basement?
Frustrated at the numerous decisions associated with each item, you don’t get very far before you give up. Maybe another day you will feel inspired to Konmari your way through that garage, but today isn’t that day.
Here is the truth: Decluttering can quickly become an overwhelming experience. In many ways, decluttering is much more of a mental activity than physical one. Each item requires you to make decisions, and decision making is exhausting.
The KonMari method attempts to simplify the decluttering process using Kondo’s Japanese minimalism into one easy question of “Does this spark joy?”. But for many Americans, parting with our belongings is not so simple, and may be a very stressful and frustrating experience.
Don’t get me wrong—I think Marie Kondo’s book, The Life- Changing Magic of Tidying Up is wonderful and her work definitely inspired me. But I am here to tell you that her method is not the only way to declutter and get organized, so if tried and it didn’t work, there is nothing wrong with you!
Here is a look at some aspects of her methods I disagree with and how I suggest to proceed.
Sometimes “Sparking Joy” isn’t enough
“Does this spark joy” is not a fool-proof question that will magically bring clarity to your decisions and tidiness to your home. Why not, you ask? Because not every item will spark joy for you. Your clothes, artwork, décor, etc. these should spark some joy for you, but even then, they will make you happy for a variety of reasons that might be hard to parse. There are also items that are useful and make you happy because of the convenience they bring.
I find decluttering is easier if you can break items up into the 4Ts:
1.Treasures
2.Toys
3.Tools
4.Trash.
This categorization technique pretty much sums up any and all items in your house, and once categorized, new questions emerge that will help you purge.
Treasures
Treasures are belongings you love. These make you happy. Treasures should be displayed or, if hidden, they should be lovingly stored in one special box for sentimental items. If they are in one of 20 old moving boxes in your basement, you are not honoring this supposed treasure.
Examples: Artwork, paintings, china from your mother, jewelry.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Do I truly love it? If yes, find a way to display it in your home or put it in your special memory box.
- Am I keeping this for someone else’s benefit?
- Am I keeping it out of obligation or guilt to someone else? If yes, will they ever know I got rid of it?
Toys
Toys are items you enjoy using and use often enough to keep. They provide entertainment such as an Xbox, a guitar, or hobby objects.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Is this used enough throughout the year to validate keeping it?
- Is it worth the space it takes up to keep it?
- Would I miss it if it was gone? Would I remember I ever had it?
- Would I purchase this again today if I didn’t already have it?
Tools
Tools are items you use and can rely on to get a job done. Tools make you happy because they make your life easier. Examples: a high-power blender, an iron, a laptop, a lawnmower.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Does it work well?
- Do I already have something else that accomplishes the same task?
- Does it get used often enough to validate its space in my home?
Trash
Everything else is Trash (or items you want to donate).
Questions to ask yourself:
- Would this have any value to someone else?
- Is this in good enough condition to donate?
Working within this paradigm will help you move through the mess more efficiently.
Organizing by Category rather than Space
Marie Kondo believes it is best to clean by category in this specific order:
Clothes
Books
Papers
Komono (Misc)
Sentimental Items
But I have found this advice to be counter intuitive. The idea of cleaning by category is not nearly as easy nor a satisfying a result as cleaning by space or room. Typically, one of the principle reasons people have clutter is because they have not established a home for all of their belongings, so they are often not even sure where to find all of their books, or all of their papers, creating a lot of wasted time and energy. Secondly, they will end up with a mess all over the house and have little completed before they run out of energy to finish the task.
I find it much better to work on one room, drawer, or closet at a time. I start by taking everything out of the space so I can see the spaces’ potential and more easily envision a new way to organize it. Also, I can better see what should be discarded and what is truly worthy of going back in.
Starting with Clothes is a one-way ticket to Crazytown
The other issue with Kondo’s categories is that she believes it best to start with clothes, but for many people, especially women, clothes are one of our biggest stressors. Over the years, we have spent thousands of dollars trying to curate a wardrobe that represents us in the best light, and often that involves some failures. Our closets are filled with items with tags still intact, things worn once, and clothes we love but don’t know how to wear. The clothing in our closets holds a whole lot of promise, guilt, and disappointment, making it too heavy an emotional load to tackle first.
I believe it is best to start somewhere easier. Somewhere that involves less emotion and little-to-no furniture moving. The kitchen is that perfect place because drawers and cabinets can be purged quickly, and it is easy to leave off mid-task if needed without leaving a mess behind. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment as each cabinet gets reorganized, and feel empowered enough to edit the rest of your house.
Folding: Nobody’s got Time for That!
Kondo says most clothes should be folded into teeny tiny stand alone little blocks. I admit seeing a bunch of shirts neatly stacked into colorful little buds is appealing to the eye. But in reality, who has time for that!? Folding works great for clothing that is off season, but for the current season’s daily wear, I vote for hanging as much as I can. Simply bring a stack of hangers next to the laundry basket and load ‘em up! If you have kids older than 4, they are perfectly capable of doing this task themselves and putting the clothes away in the closet (and they will better off for having this responsibility).
Marie Kondo inspired many people to downsize their belongings, but that doesn’t mean her method was the only way to tackle your mess. So don’t feel defeated because the KonMari Method neither sparked joy for you nor got your house in order. There are many ways to declutter and bring sanity to your space, and most importantly, you don’t have to do it alone! Book a FREE In-Home Consultation with Ideal Spaces and we will help you conquer the clutter once and for all!